Spring Once More
(This posting is dedicated to an old friend, whose friendship I've always cherished. I wish him all the happiness and success in his life journey, especially now that he's holding someone's hands towards building their own home ;))
* * * * * *
February 5th, 2001.
H,
How have you been? It has been weeks since I received your letter, but never got down to writing you one! I'm truely sorry. Time flies. It's already half a year. Just as fast as the changing of weather, from -10 to 29 celcius, isn't that scary?
I've had quite a bit of performances lately. Very happy. Written a few songs. If there's a chance, will surely present you one :)
Early morning of June 12th, 2001.
The air is cold and refreshing, just as vividly as seeing the picture of you sitting down at your desk, penning down your thoughts. I am delighted, always, receiving any mails from you, far away from the new world. I've just reached home after taking the night bus. Tired. Sure I am. Holding the mail from you in my hands. But your words make me forget all the sleepy thoughts.
Still teaching? Tell me.
Do you remember the last night we met? I could still remember so clearly. Would have wanted to have a longer time. At least a little longer. Did not know you very well. But the warm, big hug has brought the distance closer. Very, very close. The memory is still fresh.
Was it the night you drove me all the way to GH just to have a cup of Coffee Bean? You were tired. I remembered. After so many late nights, working on your songs, making arrangements for your travel. You were exhausted. Yet, drove us all the way, in the middle of the night. You said you wanted to have a cup of coffee. It was an excuse. I know. The journey, was just a way for us to spend more time getting to know each other. I know. Now I know. You couldn't help the calling of la-la-land, asking for my permission to take a short nap. Just in the car. Next to the cliff. The floating cold mist surrounded us, above the clouds.
Oh ya. The only picture taken with you, is just standing in front of my desk. Looking at it while doing my work, reading, or even writing songs is always energising. Believe me! It's true! Perhaps you have lots of doubts. But, it doesn't matter. Coz, this card has already proven how much I miss you.
Yes I do remember that night. The sadness of you leaving to a land so far away, though isn't showing on the face, was deep in the heart. Like a sharp blade, a threat to the fragile tissues. It was especially depressing, when you self-took the photo. You and I. I know you probably wished that the shutter could somehow freeze the moment. I do not recall much words spoken. That night.
I had always tried to turn away from your eyes. I never looked into your eyes. I wasn't prepared. I enjoyed the friendship. The feeling of being cared for. I wasn't prepared for anything more than this. Good friends are always best to keep. I thought. Maybe I thought wrong. Good friends. Hard to find. A blessing to have. Enormous effort to keep. And it costs, to ruin.
Spring is gay.
Especially with the drizzling thoughts of missing someone.
Summer is just around the corner.
Then, there is fall,
Followed by winter.
The season of snow flakes
is the time we meet again.
Eager.
Thinking of you.
February 2nd, 2006.
Dear C,
How's life treating you? I have always wanted to say sorry. That night. I am sorry. I always carry with me. That night. The other night. I slammed the phone on you. I have disappointed you. I appreciate your friendship, your patience, in me. I am but a fool. I must have disappointed you. A friend. A real friend. A friend so zealously investing in this relationship. I have missed something, haven't I?
Some time in May 1999.
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...
The guitar strings strumming. The voice, deep, yet light and rugged coming out between your lips. The sea breeze. So gentle. Starry starry night. Above you and I.
Do you remember that night? You and your band, banging into this young girl on the island. The night we met.
Summer. The season of love. The birth of all sparks.
August 5th, 2005.
Sunny girl. You called me. In the email. How I miss the way you address me in letters or emails. You wrote. Finally. After such a long time. I thought I would never hear from you again. You said you have moved to LA for 2 years now. You were moving back here. You said you were in a serious relationship. Your email, short and brief. I am happy. Nonetheless. To hear from you. Once again.
February 5th, 2006.
Spring. The season of flowers blooming. Just like the blooming of thoughts. The card I received is right in front of me. It's been 5 years. Things have changed. I wonder, if you were still the same?
My best wishes, to you, C. And the love of your life.
The night has fallen. The pen is almost at the edge of the card. But the thought of you is never ending...
4.23am
* * * * * *
February 5th, 2001.
H,
How have you been? It has been weeks since I received your letter, but never got down to writing you one! I'm truely sorry. Time flies. It's already half a year. Just as fast as the changing of weather, from -10 to 29 celcius, isn't that scary?
I've had quite a bit of performances lately. Very happy. Written a few songs. If there's a chance, will surely present you one :)
Early morning of June 12th, 2001.
The air is cold and refreshing, just as vividly as seeing the picture of you sitting down at your desk, penning down your thoughts. I am delighted, always, receiving any mails from you, far away from the new world. I've just reached home after taking the night bus. Tired. Sure I am. Holding the mail from you in my hands. But your words make me forget all the sleepy thoughts.
Still teaching? Tell me.
Do you remember the last night we met? I could still remember so clearly. Would have wanted to have a longer time. At least a little longer. Did not know you very well. But the warm, big hug has brought the distance closer. Very, very close. The memory is still fresh.
Was it the night you drove me all the way to GH just to have a cup of Coffee Bean? You were tired. I remembered. After so many late nights, working on your songs, making arrangements for your travel. You were exhausted. Yet, drove us all the way, in the middle of the night. You said you wanted to have a cup of coffee. It was an excuse. I know. The journey, was just a way for us to spend more time getting to know each other. I know. Now I know. You couldn't help the calling of la-la-land, asking for my permission to take a short nap. Just in the car. Next to the cliff. The floating cold mist surrounded us, above the clouds.
Oh ya. The only picture taken with you, is just standing in front of my desk. Looking at it while doing my work, reading, or even writing songs is always energising. Believe me! It's true! Perhaps you have lots of doubts. But, it doesn't matter. Coz, this card has already proven how much I miss you.
Yes I do remember that night. The sadness of you leaving to a land so far away, though isn't showing on the face, was deep in the heart. Like a sharp blade, a threat to the fragile tissues. It was especially depressing, when you self-took the photo. You and I. I know you probably wished that the shutter could somehow freeze the moment. I do not recall much words spoken. That night.
I had always tried to turn away from your eyes. I never looked into your eyes. I wasn't prepared. I enjoyed the friendship. The feeling of being cared for. I wasn't prepared for anything more than this. Good friends are always best to keep. I thought. Maybe I thought wrong. Good friends. Hard to find. A blessing to have. Enormous effort to keep. And it costs, to ruin.
Spring is gay.
Especially with the drizzling thoughts of missing someone.
Summer is just around the corner.
Then, there is fall,
Followed by winter.
The season of snow flakes
is the time we meet again.
Eager.
Thinking of you.
February 2nd, 2006.
Dear C,
How's life treating you? I have always wanted to say sorry. That night. I am sorry. I always carry with me. That night. The other night. I slammed the phone on you. I have disappointed you. I appreciate your friendship, your patience, in me. I am but a fool. I must have disappointed you. A friend. A real friend. A friend so zealously investing in this relationship. I have missed something, haven't I?
Some time in May 1999.
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye...
The guitar strings strumming. The voice, deep, yet light and rugged coming out between your lips. The sea breeze. So gentle. Starry starry night. Above you and I.
Do you remember that night? You and your band, banging into this young girl on the island. The night we met.
Summer. The season of love. The birth of all sparks.
August 5th, 2005.
Sunny girl. You called me. In the email. How I miss the way you address me in letters or emails. You wrote. Finally. After such a long time. I thought I would never hear from you again. You said you have moved to LA for 2 years now. You were moving back here. You said you were in a serious relationship. Your email, short and brief. I am happy. Nonetheless. To hear from you. Once again.
February 5th, 2006.
Spring. The season of flowers blooming. Just like the blooming of thoughts. The card I received is right in front of me. It's been 5 years. Things have changed. I wonder, if you were still the same?
My best wishes, to you, C. And the love of your life.
The night has fallen. The pen is almost at the edge of the card. But the thought of you is never ending...
4.23am
posted by Seagal at 3:02 am
3 Comments:
my my!
the side in u i wanted to see, the one behind the broad shoulders which never seemed to slump, never seemed to want a comforting embrace.
so there is love and there was hurt. its refreshing to know u are human.
Iyer
it sounds as if i have appeared as a heartless person most of the time :) haven't you heard that women's hearts are as deep as the oceans? people spend lots of efforts and time to explore the mystery.
spring will be summer soon.
time to move on, and write something new.
Iyer
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